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How do you get back-bone?

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1 How do you get back-bone? on Tue May 20, 2008 4:02 pm

kujika

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I'm sure here are many types of people. I want to focus on the type A who is all meek and no talking-back at all, and the type B who is more forceful and often walks all over type A. In most cases it's actually frustrating for both types I guess...

Now some "role play".
Type A= the meek person with no back-bone whatsoever
Type B= the forceful person with too much of the above XD

Since I'm type A, type A asks type B: Do you think you're a bully? What do you think when someone acts like you're a "monster" around you? Have you ever thought about giving such people advice?

The reason I'm writing that: Since from a very early age I've had no defense against forceful comments or insults at all. I ignored them, looked away, acted afraid etc. Now that I'm older I don't blame my "bullies" any more, because I'm quite sure it was my fault too. I'm sure a lot of them were actually nice people. Even now (look at my age), I'm unable to talk back or react in any way when being "bullied".

So to uncover the "mystery of personality", let's open our discussion. Please state if you think you're type A or B. And since you may have forgotten: I'm A :/

Of course anyone can write their opinion, even though you think you're neither ;)

http://ice.and.snow.de.vu/

2 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sat May 24, 2008 7:30 am

happyvampyre

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I'm probably a B... But I'm capable of compassion and kindness.

Yea, I say mean things. Probably, that's the main thing that comes out of my mouth. But I often times are just playing around when I say hurtful things. When someone shrinks away, or doesn't respond, I get angry. I don't know why. Some shrink that looks too deeply at things would say that I'm searching for validation or recognition, but I don't think that's it. It's more like I get angry when I see people being weak in front of me, because I see no reason why someone should look at me like I'm about to attack them. Of course, when I'm angry, I get even worse, so it's kind of a viscious cycle...

3 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sat May 24, 2008 8:31 pm

KiKi_burgers

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I used to be type A when i was little and what not i couldnt take insults first i would be really angry but i never knew how to handle anger so i would start crying.
Now im more type B because i learned to handle my anger and stuff. But in all truthfulness no idea what changed

4 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sat May 24, 2008 10:13 pm

JJ

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I have to say I'm type B. I tend to get irritated at things, but not to the point where I would have to disrespect anyone. I try to avoid confrontations, but you always seem to get suck in.

When I was younger, I tried to stop a fight. Didn't work out, I was pushed and so I took a swing at her. (I had no idea who she was, well I knew of her, but not her personally). Another time, an older girl was waiting for me (mistaking me for someone else). I grew up in the ghetto, so things weren't so pretty... seems like things were always settled with a fist...

Others thinks I'm too aggressive and likes to start fights, which is a complete misunderstanding. I just don't go beating people up, it's more like I'm just defending myself. To say that, when I was younger, I had a shorter fuse. Now, I'm able to keep things civilized.

http://www.redmadness.net

5 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sun May 25, 2008 11:38 am

kujika

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I used to be type A when i was little and what not i couldnt take insults first i would be really angry but i never knew how to handle anger so i would start crying.

Maybe that's it, thanks... It's always been difficult for me to handle strong or fierce feelings like anger, sadness, frustration etc.. Since I can't manage my own it may be that I simply don't know how to react to those feelings coming from other people.

It's not that I'm afraid of other people, I just get all confused and grow all stiff etc.

http://ice.and.snow.de.vu/

6 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sat Jun 07, 2008 11:52 pm

smellyfish


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i used to be type A but now i'm between type A and B.
when i was little people used to make fun of my name, which upset me a lot. but i just learned to laugh it off and ignore people i didn't like. i'm still working on speaking up for myself, but after i learned how to give nasty glares i haven't really had to.

7 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Fri Jun 20, 2008 6:09 am

orchidpearl


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I think you're born with a back-bone as it was meant to be unless it was surgically removed.

8 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:32 am

Mint Cookie

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I used to be a type A, crying over little things and such, I mean, my tears just burst out. Now I am probably a B, I was told that I can be scary.(*evil laugh)

9 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:30 pm

erasable


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I used to be a type B. Then I turned into type A. More or less, the more B-like I behaved the more I was shoved into an environment full of B-types. After several rounds of this vicious cycle I was surrounded by people more B than I was and slowly evolved into an A type. The B aspect of my personality is still lurking under the surface, and I have very little control over when it resurfaces.

I think A types can get a backbone my hanging out with people more A-like than they are.

10 Re: How do you get back-bone? on Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:03 am

kmcc217


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I use to be an A but I'm a B after I enter high school. You gotta have to stand up for yourself or people will step all over you.

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